Title: What does it mean?
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Blog Entry: I've always suffered from bad dreams- this is an understatement - I've looked them up and I suffer from night terrors and they fuck my shit up. Couple it with severe sleep paralysis, insomnia, and its no wonder I'm absolute insane when it comes to sleep. Basically, I'm terrified of the dark and going to bed scares the shit out of me, I only get sleep when I take sleeping pills. If I'm alone, all the lights have to be on, doors open, and tvs' blaring. (I'll sleep with earplugs and an eye mask on) Don't get me started but I think a demon's following me and I've had too many weird experiences (whatever, don't believe me, I wish it wasn't real too). Well as a child, to combat my night terrors, I started desperately praying to God for good dreams and low and behold it worked. I stopped having the more modest of the night terrors (insert begin sleep paralysis) and my nights became more peaceful. Well, years and years later after I started battling with some personal issues outside of my homosexuality, I started to wonder if I was ever going to escape them. So I asked God for a prophetic dream about my future. This is the dream (btw – I'm not making this up): The memory of the dream begins with me on the porch swing of a log cabin overlooking the yard, which slowly spreads into a forest that is climbing a steep mountain. Carved into the mountainside forest is a road, which is winding up the mountain. As I swing I notice a car speeding around the mountain. All of a sudden, the swing lurches as I realize the car is flying off the road into the forested mountainside. I can hear screams from the car as it flips down the mountain. I begin racing towards the car as it flips past trees into the edge of grass surrounding my yard. When I get closer to the car, the flames are too much and I have to back away. I realize that someone is still screaming and try again to get to the car and once again; I am backed away by the blaze of the flames. My last thought before waking is that I am watching myself perish because it is my own voice I hear screaming for help inside the car. So now, I need an interpretation. Am I the doomed boy in the car or am I the helpless bystander unwilling to risk the fire it would take to save myself? Unfortunately, God didn't give me an interpretation. What do you think?
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