Title: Warnings from experience
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Blog Entry: You know, many people in my life have come along and tried to warn me that I shouldn't open doors and do the things that I know I shouldn't do. However, I did not listen to them. I opened doors anyways, not knowing I was opening the doors and stepping into the devils playground. At the time I really didn't care and didn't heed the warnings that so many people gave to me. I really wish now that I would have heeded the warnings. People, you may think it is ok to do this or that, and ultimately it will not affect me in any way shape or form. Actually I should care less what you do. HOWEVER, a part of me does care because I don't want anyone to face the things I have faced and go through the things I have gone through. You know, I was talking to my ex husband and he was talking about how he wanted to cheat on his wife, I told him, what you do is your business, but the bottom line is if you were to walk through that door you will wish you wouldn't have. I told him that what he does does not ultimately affect me. If he chose to do that then that was up to him, but the thing is I asked him, do you really want to walk through that door? I said do you want to cheat on your wife and then later on down the road you tell her and suddenly you are standing in the middle of your room and everything you ever worked for is suddenly gone? I said think about it, do you really want to lose everything you worked so hard for? Be careful what you ask for. Bottom line with this conversation is that yes I do care what others do because I really don't want them to face the things I have faced. This warning goes out to anyone and everyone. Be very very careful what door you open, because once you open that door you are walking on ground you wished you wouldn't have. There will be a price to pay and it maybe too much for you and you will say to yourself, wow I didn't ask for this to happen. There is no price condition. Another words you cannot put a condition on the price you are willing to pay, because once you say "I am willing to pay the price" Then when the price is ready to be paid, you back up and are like "Wow the price is too steep for me to pay" You know, I warn everyone to please please be careful what doors you open. Be really sure that you want to walk through that door. Be sure you are willing to pay the price. I used to be at a point in my life where I didn't care what the price was. I didn't care at the time that there was a price. I didn't think it would happen. People would tell me not to mess with Ouija boards or go into cemeteries and "play" with the dead. People would warn me not to do things. Even my own son has warned me to be careful. I didn't heed to the warnings. I didn't listen and I am here to tell you that I really wished that I had listened. You see, when someone is warning you about something, they aren't just saying it because they want to say it or because it will affect them. They are saying it because they care. They are warning you because they have seen things happen to them and they speak from experience and they don't want you to have to go through what they already have. I cannot emphasize this enough. Everything you do does have an affect and it does have a price to pay. Please please be careful. The thing is, the door you are opening may not be messing with an Ouija board, it may not be messing with things that are extreme. It may be something as simple as opening a book that probably isn't the best thing for you to read. It could be as simple as going and buying something you know you can't afford. Only you know what that door is. You may think that what you do in secret doesn't affect your family or your friends, but I am here to tell you that I thought that same thing. I thought that if I did something and nobody knew about it that it would be ok. However, little did I realize that it did have a major affect on my son, it had a major affect on my friends. Wow, how I wish now I hadn't went to go play on the devils playground. I cannot tell you how scary it is. I cannot emphasize how very important everything you do in life really is. I have seen things beyond my wildest nightmares and imagination and have gone through things that I never dreamed were possible. I used to think that everything was a metophore or psychological, but believe me when I say that what I have faced, seen and experienced is very real, is NOT psychological. Honestly, I wish that it was just a psychological issue. I wish that I wouldn't see the things I see, be tormented by the things I am tormented with and fear the things I fear. I wish I could turn back the pages of time and erase everything I have ever done and close the doors to that which I have opened, but there is no way I can go back and erase everything. There is no way I can get in a time machine and change things of the past. I really wish there was, but there isn't. Don't fall into the trap that I did. Don't think that you know everything about a situation because things have a way of proving to you that you don't know half as much as you thought you did. You really don't understand what you are messing with or the doors you are opening. Some of you might and some of you might not care, but please please listen to me when I say you need to start caring. Heed the warnings that are set before you. You may be reaching the doorknob to that door, but please pull your hand back before it is too late. You don't want to be in my shoes, you really don't. I used to think "Wow I really wish I could experience this or that" or "Wow I wish I could see what this person has gone through because I want to see for myself" Wow, I wish so many times that I did care more when I said those things and that I realized what I was saying. My ex boyfriend has said to me "I want to protect you from what you are going through" or "I want to go through this for you" The thing is I told him "You cannot go through this for me. You cannot protect me from what I am going through. You cannot bare the burden." I told him "These are doors I have opened and these are my problems, there is nothing you can do. " I said "You can stnd beside me as a friend and be there when I need someone to talk to, when I need a shoulder to cry on, but you cannot prevent these things from happening to me. This is the price I have to pay and there is nothing anyone can do to pay the price for me" It has taken me alot to realize this. It has taken me to go through what I have and am going through in order for me to realize this. It is a very hard lesson learned, but a lesson learned nonetheless.
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