Subject: Split Indecision 2012
Content: Times are changing, people are changing with the times. My theory for explaining this change is the possibility of 20/12 heralding the end of the world. Thousands of people worldwide have their own suggestions and ideas about what will happen once 2012 rolls around. Many of them are kept secret for the fear of what people will think. This is the challenge we're encountering. Fear. Let me give you an example of the fear I face on a regular basis. Things occur when I think about saying something. Things that will make me think twice before I say what I want to say. A fine example would be what just happened a few moments ago. I was discussing my own personal theory as to what will happen on 2012 with a friend of mine, when I wanted to get into detail and began typing the details, someone upstairs yelled a very loud obscenity that made me think twice about typing what I wanted to type. This is that fear I talk about, in that situation would you post what you typed? Especially when its something of that calibre. Just one occurence it'd be something to ignore, a mere coincidence... but when it happens almost every day, with family or friends, you begin to fear the repurcussions of what could possibly happen if you let the knowledge stray. My parents say that I'm imagining it all, that if I look hard enough for something I'll find it, whether I'm looking for freak coincidences or not. The only time I feel at peace now is when I'm sleeping because I hope that I don't wake up. I used to love life, I used to enjoy the mysteries it held. Now I'm broke, my parents are going bankrupt, I can't find a job because no one will hire me, I'm losing my hair and as such my self esteem and I think all of this is my doing, I feel like I'm a prisoner. I thought after 3 years of looking for a way to curb the apocalypse that I would at least get some kind of reward. Some kind of recognition, like a clap on the back from God telling me well done. Instead I get to suffer. I get to feel completely helpless. What kind of reward is that? Do you know the quote from Batman The Dark Knight, "Either we die as a hero, or live long enough to see ourselves become the villain"? That quote has so much truth ingrained into it because I've gradually gone from an upbeat stature, unstoppable, feeling invincible, I felt I inspired people around me, I wanted to turn the world around and make it a better place, no matter what the odds, or what could happen to me. I miss that me, now I'm dark, I feel hollow, scared, and vulnerable, I feel as if my purpose is to have no purpose at all. To fool myself with a way out then just rot away into nothing. Then when 2012 does finally roll around and whatever happens happens I'll ask myself "what if...". Can you sort of see my predicament? I mean a lot of people are going to end up saying "Well whatever happens, happens" No, I don't agree with that. I refuse to. I would rather believe that the future of the world rests in our hands to make the right decisions. And this is one of those decisions, maybe the first, maybe the last, maybe somewhere in between but this is how important I think it is. So now I present the problem, 2012 makes person A look for a way of not only stopping the end of the world, but to show the world that one person can make a difference. He gets to work and makes a startling discovery, after which his life has changed, his outlook on everything has not necessarily been warped but enlightened. Overjoyed he wishes to share it with other people but every time he tries he notices just thinking about saying something makes people around him upset, angered, or even scared. It occurs every time and now he wonders what the consequences would be if he did actually tell someone, or worse, if everyone knew. One of two things could happen, finally he gets it off his chest and it begins an unstoppable flood of self awareness and knowledge which extinguishes the armageddon, or he gets it off his chest and it begins a catalyst explosion which will cause the Armageddon itself by fulfilling biblical prophecies and whatnot. Or the third possibility, it's nothing at all and we're screwed either way. If that was the case then my purpose would indeed be to not have a purpose.
VIEW FULL VERSION: Link