One of the things that Alan brought up during his segment on Ghostly Talk was that of all the squabbling and bickering that goes on in the paranormal community, and how it affected him.  That really struck a sympathetic chord in me, because I still remember very keenly how shocked and appalled and simply hurt I was over a decade ago, coming into the pagan community as a newcomer who fully expected to find a safe haven among kindred spirits--only to find myself in something more closely resembling a pit of vipers.  That's a horrible feeling, like a betrayal made all the worse because you can't pin it on any one person; there was an expectation you had going in, believing yourself to be among friends, among your own kind, and then finding more strife and dissent and contention inside the group than you ever experienced coming from "outsiders!"

It sucks, and it's enough to make you want to say screw it all and give up the idea of "community" as an impossible dream.  Infighting may be the worst kind of fighting there is, because it does carry with it that sense of isolation and betrayal.  You expect problems from people who don't share your beliefs and interests, but not from the ones who do.  The shock of it, especially if you find yourself embroiled in a major flamewar, is hard as hell to get over.  Even pixels on a screen can have lasting impacts, because behind those pixels are people who can be hurt. 

A wise friend of mine, speaking of these types of situations, told me this: "They behave so badly because the stakes are so small."  It's easy to engage in bad behaviour on the internet particularly, because there's so little accountability.  The person you're treating like crap isn't physically there to punch you in the face; and if other people start to gang up on you, it's easy enough to disappear, lay low for a while, then create a sockpuppet to come back and start more trouble.  I at first thought these things were limited to the pagan community, but as I wandered into other types of online communities I found the same things happening there.  I toyed with the idea of becoming a hermit and never posting anything anywhere ever again, but I got over that pretty quickly.  Instead I made a concious vow to never become that kind of person, and to try (online at least) to treat others at least as well as I'd like them to treat me--and to disengage as quickly as possible from those who would try to stir controversy.  It doesn't always work, but it's made things better.

All right, this has turned into a rambling rant apropos of very little, so I'll wrap it up here.  Alan, if you're reading this, know that I heard what you were saying and I understood it.  I'm committed in my small way to making IAH the kind of place you envisioned it to be, if I'm able to contribute to that.  And I don't think I'm the only one who feels that way.  

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