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Seriously, I just got one today and handling it burns my hands.

I actually am home from work sick today and a bit feverish. What I think may be happening is that sweat from my hands is rubbing off on the cards and causing ink or something else it's made with to slightly rub off and I'm having a slight allergic reaction to it. Or possibly the decks just pure evil.

The deck itself has some interesting ideas, but most of it is crap. I only got the thing because it is such a popular deck and so I wanted it for reference. The energy is decidedly Wiccan and, imo, just plain nasty. The thing even smells Wiccan (it may be my fever talking, but I'm dead serious about this). Plus I nearly busted open my box because the damn thing opens funny.

I also got three other decks today. I need more time to look at it, but so far the Arcus Arcanum tarot is disappointing based on the few cards I saw before buying it, and my hopes weren't all that high to begin with.

The Lo Scarebo Tarot is mostly what I expected. It's largely copied symbolism and the designer doesn't seem to understand most of what was copied, and the selection of what's been taken leaves a lot to be desired. There are still a couple of interesting choices in the deck though making it a worthwhile purchase.

Finally I got the Flornoy redrawing the Jean Noblet tarot, 78 card edition. I would suggest that anyone who is interested in the tarot de marseilles design or historical tarots in general pick this up while it's still available. Noblet, Dodal, and Conver are often looked at tas the most influential tarot de marseilles designs, and Noblet reproductions are by far the most difficult to come across (in fact, I think this may be the only Noblet tarot in recent times).

Although I tend to prefer accurate untouched reproductions of historical tarots, Flornoy spent a great deal of time researching the Noblet tarot in order to accurately redraw it as it probably first appeared almost half a millenia ago, and his research into the Noblet design seems to be a labor of love, instead of another commissioned job to release a substandard historical recreation.

My only real gripe with the deck is the small size of the cards. I would've preferred something closer to the size of standard tarot cards, even if it meant a significantly higher price.

These cards are an indie production, and although the box and LWB are in English, they're a French import deck, and although some collectors are promoting Flornoy's work right now, most people still don't know who he is. I'd suggest that anyone interested in this deck pick up a copy ASAP, since if you wait too long it may be sought after and very difficult to come by. Additionally there's a 22 card trump only hand colored edition that's a bit more expensive (I may also end up getting this in the future).

Currently Flornoy's working on a similar trump only edition of the Dodal tarot, and hopefully this will eventually get the same 78 card full deck treatment that his Noblet tarot got.

 

 

Within the realm of my blog, my book, when I speak with people, when I write people through email, I've been rather free about the magickal information I give out. I am very much aware of the danger this information can pose to the practitioner if it's put to use. I've been hurt badly in the past, and I'm no doubt at least partly responsible for injuries that have occurred to others. Still, I continue, and will continue, as I have been, offering what information I have to anyone who truly wants to learn.

There is a disgusting trend that has emerged where information is being hidden away in fear that it may be used in such a way that the practitioner is hurt. Books are being burned or otherwise taken off the market, stores refuse to carry certain titles and authors, people are being told not to read certain works because of the ideas discussed within them, and some are asking, or even demanding, that people stop teaching spellwork, astral projection, channeling, mediumship, and the like to just anyone. Meanwhile practitioners are being urged not to practice. They are being told that they aren't strong enough or learned enough yet to protect themselves if they chose to utilize magick. In some instances practitioners are being urged to give up magick completely as it's far too dangerous to ever be used and instead to just be a part of a neopagan religion.

Change is upon us. If you can tap the energy of this place, the vast ocean of energy that exists around us, and fall into it, and follow it a bit into the future you'll notice that it starts to twist and turn, that it's twisting and turning right now. We're heading towards an apocalypse of sort, this world is going through a great change. I can feel it, my teacher felt it, my peers feel it, and almost a hundred years ago Allister Crowley felt it. This isn't something new.

A lot of people like to talk about this change. I've become certain that most can't feel it, they're just repeating what they've heard from others. They have no understanding of it. A common belief is that, once this change occurs, the veils will break and we'll all be blessed with magickal and psychic powers. Another belief is that this effect is generational, we won't gain this powers, but our children or grandchildren or whenever this happens will be born with it.

The truth is this change isn't something that's going to happen. It's happening right now, and it's been happening for some time. Those waiting to just wake up with their magick powers one day should give up now. It isn't happening. No new power is coming into this world. The power has always been there, and it will always be there. Having power is a matter of grasping that power which has always been there to be grasped. What has changed is an increase in opportunity.

In the 19th century Levi's works were only available to those who could speak French. In the early 20th century translations started appearing, but these translations along with their French counterparts were still difficult to find and treasured among those who owned them. By the 1970s increased interest in the metaphysical and cheaper printing techniques meant that Levi's works were now more widely available, assuming you knew who he was and knew of a place that sold good occult books or a good mail order company. Today Levi's works can be found at the local bookstore, they can easily be downloaded online, and even if you don't know who he is typing magick into a search engine along with a week studying online should lead you to him.

Nearly all of the most famous magickal and spiritual works are available online. Every year more works are translated and better translations appear (compare Mather's Sepher Yetzirah to Kaplan's superior translation). Finding the exact book you want isn't much harder than typing the name into an Amazon or Ebay search, or asking your local bookstore to order it. Meanwhile inventions like the Internet, HTML, and cheaper and more efficient POD techniques make publishing and distributing ideas, techniques, theories, and teachings easier.

Right now it is easier for a neophyte to find the information they need to begin solitary practice or work towards initiation than it has been in thousands of years. It is taking less and less work to find the necessary information, and more and more the information is simply presenting itself to people, no work required. And the situation is only going to get better, or worse depending on your perspective of it. No one is going to be gifted with magickal powers. Rather we're being gifted with a better opportunity to acquire those powers.

This world is in the process of shifting. It's moving towards some unforeseeable end, and currently it's ripe to be influenced. I've seen factions of otherworldly beings forming. They're parties that have an interest in where this world is heading and the final outcome of these events. They will take what they can by influence and they will take what they can by force. Wars will be fought between these powers that be, actually the battles have already started, and in the end their strength will determine the fate of this world.

Humanity has been castrated and robbed of the right to determine its own destiny. They've taken from us our gods and angels and heroes and villains and demons and old ones, the very things that were meant to show us what we could aspire to become.

And now the world shifts, and the power long ago taken from us is offered to us again. Some believe that we're destroying this world, that we are a parasite to it, and that it seeks to expel us. This world clings to us and I hear it pleading with us to realize our potential and again become masters of our destiny and determine this world's fate.

We are among the elite, and we are growing. We are those that have chosen not to cower behind a higher force, but rather to throw ourselves into the universe allowing our strength, our talent, our merits, and our character to lead us to our salvation, or our damnation. We are supposed to be the strong and the powerful who walk the path to enlightenment unhindered by fear, not the cautiously weak who chose ignorance out of fear.

A time will come when these battles come near to an end, and they will have taken what can be taken by influence, and they will have taken what can be taken by force, and the victor will determine what fate befalls all of humanity, and the only hope humanity will have to determine its own fate will be to prove themselves stronger and uninfluenced and take back by force what is rightfully there's.

Inside each of us is the potential to achieve power beyond that of even the gods. Those incarnate here have a greater right to determine the fate of this world than any other entity, and with that right comes the power to claim and defend it if we chose to.

This world does not need caution. It does not need fear. This world needs strength, and it needs practitioners that are practicing and growing in power so that they may face what is yet to come against them.

Power can only be achieved through experience. Risk is an essential element of progress. Read books. Read everything. Don't be swayed from a particular author because they have been labeled as evil or dangerous. Look at their ideas and determine for yourself their validity. And cast spells, astral project, summon things, channel, in other words practice magick. Get into fights and mix it up with entities. Yes, all of this is dangerous. Do it anyways. Don't wait to do things because you doubt your abilities. Your abilities will only grow through experience, and doing things now is the only way to grow your abilities. Time spent waiting for your abilities to develop from an armchair will only be time wasted.

We need to walk our paths fearlessly. We need to allow ourselves to grow spiritually. We need to have confidence in our abilities and faith not in higher powers but in our own power to protect ourselves and find salvation.

When we see ourselves as weak, we become mastered by our own limitation. When we believe that we our strong, strength tends to manifest within us.

The true master teaches empowerment, not subjugation. The true master preaches of the strength of his disciples, not their weaknesses. The true master sees himself not as having ascended to a point above others, but of having reached a higher point that others will hopefully exceed.

I've found I have a very special relationship with certain deities, four that I know of. This isn't to say that I'm compatible with them. I'm compatible with many deities. And this isn't to say that they like me or favor me. Many deities have shown favor towards me, have guided me and enlightened me, and gifted me, and to not include them would be profane.

Yet certain deities are just very special to me. The first time I've spoken to each of them I've felt a certain kind of calm, as if a part of me that has remained restless my entire life has finally found piece. And I've noticed that when I neglect speaking with them for long periods of time there's a negative effect from it. Once again I can't quite explain it, except to say that it's so slow it's usually unnoticeable, and that my personality and mood slowly shift. It's a sort of uneasiness. It's hard to describe.

Three of the four deities were very easy to find. Two I had dreamed about prior to finding them and knew I had a strong connection to them. With the third god it just occurred to me one day.

Several months ago I realized I was missing a god though. I had an idea of the energy I was looking for and so I had a list of several dozen gods that I started eliminating from. But it wasn't until yesterday when a dream set me in the right direction that I finally managed to find the fourth god.

The problem is I still feel somewhat incomplete, as if I still have to find at least one more god. Maybe there isn't a fifth god and it's just too early for me to tell. In any case, it's too early for me to figure out what's missing and what I should be looking for.

But right now I'm stuck wondering, why these gods? I don't feel as if I've chosen these gods, and at the same time I don't think they exactly chose me either. Several gods have favored me and seem to like me, and yet I still don't have this sort of relationship with them.

I understand the connection, I just don't understand why it exists as it does. 

And if it isn't just four, then how many gods are there that I do have this relationship with? First I thought it was just three, then I was convinced it was four, but if it's actually five, then it could also be six or seven or more. 

From my wordpress blog [robjo.wordpress.com]:

 

This should provide some information as to what exactly fallen angels are and how they come to fall.

This information was channeled, almost directly, for an unfinished book I was working on some time ago. The names are not exact, just close phonetically to the names I heard in my head which I cannot pronounce. Some of the words are not exactly given but were ideas I have trouble expressing. I have gone back and fixed some minors errors with spelling and word usage, although I have kept the original intact. This is the angel's mythology. In other words it's not mythology about angels, but rather mythology that is believed by angels.
 
In another world, one long forgotten, only ever known to the eldest, there came to be a species, and with it came an assemblage, and so it was determined where each was to be placed and what duties they would take. Highest among them was Maldoth, and next was Hedeth.

And the duties were carried out as they should be, and for ages the world carried on, and for generations the charge was protected and guided in all the ways that it should be.

And among the charges the seeds of evil were planted, and those that guard would come and stomp out the seeds as they sprouted, all save one that was missed, or possibly couldn't be destroyed.

And as the evil spread the charges changed. A dark taint fell upon their souls and they gave into evil desires.

And those that guard began to fear the fate of their charges who they loved so greatly. And so they came among them and guided them, and argued with them, and pleaded with them, and fought for them in bloody battles against the source of the taint. But their efforts, so great, were in vain and the evil spread further. And as the world sank deeper, those that had remained pure and those that they saved upon death would ascend to a more suitable world, leaving only those who were badly tainted behind, and the evil spread at an even faster rate.

As they reveled in their sins, Hedeth fell to his knees in desperation upon seeing the hopeless fate of those he loved so much. Their souls so twisted and tainted, and so many already leaving this world, so much beauty had been lost, a great pain befell his heart, a pain beyond description, beyond comprehension to those who have not felt it. A creature of action, most powerful among a world save one, fell to his knees crying, overtaken by emotion.

And Maldoth was filled with sorrow, as was Hedeth, and also rage, knowing that they had brought this fate upon themselves. And instead of falling to the ground he rose up, and stated 'If they choose this end, then leave them to their own destruction', his anger so powerful had they heard his words, and felt his voice, they may have fallen to the ground in obedience to him. And so Maldoth had opened up the way out of that world, to lead the guardians to some other charge.

But Hedeth had raised himself back up, and could not bare to leave behind those he loved so much. He was at least as angry at them as Maldoth, but his love for them was so much greater, and he pleaded with Maldoth and the others, asking them to stay and save this world. But choices had already been made, and all means had been used, and to remain was futile.

But Hedeth spoke "We could be as gods, or not gods, but we would be gods to them, as the gods themselves are divine to us. And as gods they might follow us, and do as they're told. And we can cast a wrath upon those who will not surrender their will to us. And we could make them righteous, or at least keep them from evil. To be without will, without decision, is a better fate than what lies ahead of them on their current path. How can it be wrong not to do all in our power to save that which we love?"

Such things are not allowed, certain interferences must not be made, certain rules must be followed.

And so occurred the first division, and so came to be the first fallen among the angelics.

Some had sided with Hedeth, but most went with Maldoth, and the numbers on his side were much greater. It is thought that if Maldoth had attacked with his legion, Hedeth and his would have been taken, and their betrayal avenged. Even if the loss was certain, Maldoth was still bound to engage in any just battle. Yet he and his legion stayed their hands, and each left Hedeth and his and moved on to other lands.

And Hedeth came upon the people, and announced himself as god, and some cowered before him in fear, and he convinced them to save their souls and kept them ignorant of that which could corrupt them. Had he come earlier he would have saved the world, but the evil had already grown too great, and its roots grew too deep, and it spread faster than it had before, and again all efforts were made in vain.

But Hedeth would not give up on his world and his charge, and as his world sank ever deeper into darkness, and as some of his companions left him he stood his ground, determined to defend them and attempt to save them until the very last, never abandoning his place. And as the world sank deeper, as the souls became more twisted, new guardians emerged from the lower planes, horrifying and powerful beasts. And the greatest among them, a power and horror never before seen by Hedeth, flew to him first and swallowed him whole. The great angelic struck not a single blow before his defeat.

Hedeth, so powerful, so strong, so filled with love could be so easily defeated, but he could not be so easily destroyed. After a long while of being a part of it he burst out of the beast's stomach stronger and renewed. He was the first of the pure to have a taint upon him, and now he had combined and been digested by the beast, and himself had ingested it, and it was no longer known if he was more a guardian of the lower realms or the higher realms, but his love for his charge remained, and he longed to return to his duties.

But he had been defeated for so long, and all remnants of his world, and all the beauty he had beheld, had been destroyed. It had fallen deeper still, and had been twisted beyond recognition and repair. And his heart became filled with such sorrow and anger and depression and he felt the pull upon him trying to take him ever deeper into the realms, and his love was so great and his sorrow so great that all he could do was give in.

And Hedeth was tainted first, and he was the first to fall into the lower realms, and his sadness is so great that he falls faster than the rest, reaching every point first. He is the most tainted, the most twisted, the most vile, and the most evil of all the fallen, of all the angelics. And with every battle, he does battle still, he becomes more powerful and more wretched, one of hell's greatest monsters.

Such a thing is no longer pure, or beautiful, or among the angelics, and so a hand moved towards a list to strike Hedeth's name from the hierarchy, the first name to be stricken, but the hand was stayed by the highest, and all that were among the angelics then saw a single vision.

In the final hours, as the Angelics stand arm to arm in battle, as the legions push them back, Hedeth will burst forth from hell, leading an army of others like him that he has freed, and they will join again with their brethren. And brave and bold and strong Hedeth will lead them in one glorious charge, and only then, as the enemy falls upon him, will his energy finally return to the fabric of its creation. And so the name Hedeth will have proved its place eternally among the hierarchy.

Reposted from my wordpress blog 

I thought about this experience earlier today while reading an old
book on folk legends when I got to a chapter that dealt with mermaids.
There are no great secrets of mine hidden in here. I’ve told this story
to most people, and it’s fairly safe in the information it gives out
about me.

Well to start I have an item that I’ve filled up with a lot of
energy and blessed under four different dieties. It’s a tool of mine,
and it’s very powerful and can answer most questions. However it
answers questions in its own way and causes a lot of chaos whenever
it’s activated. It tends to open up any portals in the area and can
easily summon all sorts of things. Using it is always an adventure.

Anyways one day I did use it, and not long after that I went to
sleep. In my dream I was riding shotgun in a car as I talked to my
friend on a cell phone. As I was talking I saw a building with a prymid
roof and on top was a huge mermaid statue. I muttered something about a
mermaid over the phone, at which point my friend asked me if I wanted
to meet one. I tried to explain about the weird statue I was looking at
when I suddenly felt a rush of energy coming off it.

It occured to me at that point that I was dreaming, and that
something was coming, and I needed to wake up right away to deal with
this.

I forced my eyes open and awoke in my bed, but I was already too
late. I could see and think, but my body was having cunvulsions and I
had absolutely no control over my limbs. This was very different from
sleep paralysis (which I’ve had before). My body was uncontrollably
shaking like a seizure.

And there was a mermaid sort of sitting on top of my chest (they
have that whole fish part, no legs, which makes actually sitting kind
of impossible).  Her face was old and ragged. Her hair was long,
slightly curled, seperated, and resembled snakes. In many ways her head
resembled pictures of a gorgon. As ugly as she was, her fish part was
far more disgusting.

From what she had told me, she was planning on raping me. She wanted
to merge us together in a spritual-sexual type way. I understood what
she was talking about. She claimed that we would both benefit from this.

There was no way I was going to let this happen. I could feel the
portal she came through not far behind her, and I came up with two
plans. Plan one was to concentrate as much energy into my chest as I
could in my current state and in a short amount of time. Then I would
release this energy out of me and hopefully it would be enough to push
her back through the portal.

Plan two involved getting as much energy as I could manage, and then
focusing enough to take back a bit of control of my body, scream like a
little girl with that energy and break free of the paraylsis. Many of
my battle stories actually end with “And then I screamed like a little
girl at it and it ran away”. So many that it’s sad. It’s just that it’s
a very effective tactic.

Plan one actually worked though, so I didn’t scream like a little
girl this time. When the energy hit her from out of my chest she went
flying through the portal, and the paralysis and convulsions instantly
ended. After it was over with I got up and sealed the portal so nothing
else would be coming out of it.

So I took a little astral trip to the lower realms and ended up in one of the weirdest places I've ever seen.

The place I came to had a few different passageways going in different directions, it was one big hallway, and the floor and walls and ceiling were all covered in holes with energy seeping out. There was a man standing in the middle of all this, where the pathway split several different ways. He was wearing a nice and normal suit with a cloth tied around his eyes while pointing in different directions. He didn't feel yucky, in fact he didn't feel much like anything. He was a fairly weak entity with very little energy. Possibly a ghost or maybe just a thought form, I'm not sure.

Anyways he told me that I was at the crossroads of all sexual fantasy, and that they had everything there, every imaginable kink, and I got the idea he was there to point me in the right direction.

I also quickly figured out correctly that the actual passageway to the sexual fantasies was through the various holes seeping out energy. The energy was all sexual but a bit different from each one. A person could find exactly what they were looking for with little difficulty just going by the energy.

It was also obvious that all of the sexual energy was lower realm sexual energy. They didn't have every kind of sexual fantasy, only those that are regulated to the lower realms. But the fellow was quite pleasant both in his signature and in his mannerisms, and he was trying to be helpful, so I didn't see any point in arguing with him about this.

The blindfold got me though. I can understand justice being blind. I can understand knowledge being blind. Love, destiny, beauty, poets, I can understand all of them being blind. But this guy was like a signpost. He was there to give directions. I couldn't understand why he would be blind, so I asked. He said he went blind from constant masturbation.

I have to get laid before I go astral projecting again.