Wilmont 6

Well the trailer was trashed....... It had become white trash Mecca.... Let’s stop on the road for a moment and get side tracked with me.

You’re sort of in my head so I will show you a few things while we walk past houses with oaks and gardens in the night fog.

I had examined my life at this point and I will tell you what I found about me and the area.

Well....... I had always wondered if this was the fate of living in the uneducated south. I think some could help it. It does not mean there are bad people there it just means a great deal lead up for these things to occur. We had the 3 classes the lower the middle and the upper. When I think back it’s like lost views. I never liked the Rich kids because at most they had no clue how life worked and at most where just about as ignorant as the uneducated. They where just two types of ignorance I had found. Too much opportunity or too little.

I was middle class. I had enough to know how to take care of myself and was raised in normal living standard. I have to say the area did keep me in the dark about the rest of the world. Oddly the upper and the lower class young people have the most in common in the south I noted as way of intelligence. Both did not want to work and at most had no real Idea how life functioned. Both went in and out of jail on a common occasion.

I had always blamed the Civil war as inherited effect generations later. The south used to be the most educated out of all of the United States. The intellectuals of that day could never have what they thought was utopia after so they gave up. They had built there land in the philosophy of Thomas Jefferson. Perhaps if they did not use slave to build there world they could have had a great society today. I feel the downfall was pride and greed. The African Americans in the south where lower on poll. They where made to pay for the sins of the past. They where not encouraged to educate themselves or better themselves in life and suffered a fate worse then dogs for those that stayed throughout the south.

They represented to many that where there defeat and a reminder of what was by there skin color.

Many grew up not understanding why they hated or knew little of what was before.

I was never racist I sort of judged people by there actions not what they where.

I did see some stereotypes where lived as they where cast as a sense of Identity.

I could care less. I did mourn the loss the poets, and dreamers of the past they drown in the ashes of a burnt south.

I had always felt the south could be a utopia from its rich farm land and it natural beauty.

The views where interesting.

I remember my friends great Grandmother telling me about the KKK. She said as a girl her mother was given food and care by the KKK. She said I never saw what history described. Her father died in that war. I was not sure what to say. I respect the elderly so I just respected her wishes and kept quiet.

When it boils down to it you have to do your own thinking in a quiet manner. The one thing I liked about the south is we kept our Victorian manners.

As for met, I am quite wild and untamed at the same time. I am lead by my sense of humor most the time.

A defeated south was the fashion of the day many grew up that where there with a feeling of a fall from the grand and many just knew how to survive and would feed off the week as they would grow.

People used to come down from the north and comment on the shacks they see years ago. It was learned to hide that sort of thing from the tourist. Many still live that way today.

It was not odd in the ramshackle homes to see beautiful antiques that did not match. They came from the destroyed homes from years ago.

Most know nothing else I n living. Generations of poverty. As more people move in from other places the quality of life goes up I note. As the areas modernize the culture dies with it. The price of civilization it loss of local color and culture.

In other parts of the country you know you are in the ghetto. What do you do when the whole place is?

Those with money came in trying to buy there way into Paradise.

They buy a few miles. Dump landfill dirt 8 feet up killing the local wild life and putting up Yuppie style track homes. We lived in one. I kept reintroducing the tropical wild plants back to my garden and helped others to do the same for the sake of the animals in the area.

Where I live now in Vegas I am sure there would be middle class. It’s odd here. It’s upper or lower.

When you can buy a half a million buck home here you get very little, In Fl, It would cost 150 grand.

Where I was in Fl. Most of my friends where middle class or had grandparents from the Lower class. There parents at most where ship workers, or things They work with there hands.

My family had money but we stayed at middle class being my family does not believe in wasting money with

A 1930’s depression mentality. I had things my friends never had I took note but lived very much the same as they. My brothers both had cars brought for them by my parents and we had a pool. Our furniture was slightly different and we always had food and had modern things that at most are more common today in homes but not then.

The mall in the town was old and I remember only half the town was built up to normal standards in the 90's. We did not even have a wall mart to 89 and target was not about to 95. I remember in 98 everyone was Excited about the kirspy cream donuts to open. I was too.

Del taco had to close down in our town being it did not make money. We had chains that where there but nobody else would shop anywhere else. We had food world. That was my favorite store in the area. When the yuppies moved in we got a Publix in 95 and an Albertsons in 97. It was the end of Tally ho. A burger joint that when closed made the news! Loved for a few generations it seemed.

Anyhow people did not understand the rest of the world and it was only a pop about 100 thousand in 99. In the 80's about 70 thousand. We where the Biggest thing on the road to Orlando besides Tampa and Tallahassee.

We had the beach side then my side the swamp side. I lived in swamp side where the real

Fl. is. Not the pictures of spring breakers and drinks.

More like unpaved roads, trailers, old houses, jungle everywhere, paper plant smell, rain and fog. That was home to me.

I use to love to walk at night. You could hear all the frogs the animals, insects, at a low roar. You could see stars in the black blue sky and fog on the ground. Life around you but you where alone. The area itself would keep you company like a best friend. I would let that energy flow into me as I would walk.

I also wondered if my life was odd from my Mothers picks in homes.

My mother would always buy houses with history.

My mother had gotten our house half off being a trucker had owned it came home shot her the kids and her lover turning the gun on himself. The house I lived in was another Ghost story but not this story. Let’s say my Mom was attracted to colorful homes. About every house on that street had some sort of tragedy. My friend next door had a bad heart and had died he was 17 in his sleep. It was very sad and he could have been someone. I used to hear him when he was alive play with a basket ball against our side wall. I never cared. I did hear it a few times after his death also. It upset me at first but then I thought he is having fun. So it was not odd to me.

My own brother attempted to kill himself twice in my house. The lady across from me died in her house from an accident in the bathroom she was 30. 3 houses across from me had a successful suicide. If the street talked it could tell you some stories. About every house had something in Tragedy.

In spite all of that one day I want to go back.

"Back to the trailer"

THEY KEPT COLLECTING ANIMALS!

They had amass 8 puppies, 15 kittens a feral white cat that Jen believed to be the reincarnation of buttercup being it looked like the cat, and the other animals I TRIED TO EXSPLAIN THAT REINCARNATION DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! The cat ran off.…

Anyhow, the manager of the park was one of those slum lord types you see in stereotypes so he raised there rent to 875 a month. He never fixed a thing in the place. They did scrape the money together in spite of Jens I understood why he did it. He wanted them out.

“It was not legal for him to do that. He thought he was above the law.”

He did anyhow. Big jump from what they had.

He was also not pleased with the fact there water was turned on in an unlawful manner. They lost cable for not paying the bill and the standard of living was being flushed away from the ghetto ideal.

I myself was not pleased.

Mike went to look for another house.

I told him I was not going to help him another time. They had no reason to screw up this place.

I felt something strange that day. I went over to Jen and said your Mother will be here soon.

She said What???

About a half hour later Jens mother comes to the door and goes commando kicking in the front door!

She drags Jen out of the trailer and throws her in a car and drives off.

Mike goes off on me! THAT WAS A SELF FURFILLING PROPHECY! He yells at me.

You caused that to happen! I said: No I did not, I saw it. He storms around glaring at me. He then notes I had a Warren Book with me I was reading. He goes off on me telling me this this sort of thing propels the forces of devil spirits. He then says. YOU HAVE ALWAYS HAD THE LARGEST ONES I HAD EVER SEEN! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! I said: No we make our own choices in life. I am not always good but I might remark that those who I said was what you say never made any progress with me in the so called removal of what you claim. Afterward there truth behind the mask was always seen. I could see into the soul they have. Impurity cannot remove a purity. I can do the things they say I can’t and do the things others say don’t exist. I also said: I only tried to help you but I am sick of it. I NEVER WANTED TO BE THIS WAY! I AM NOT UNDERSTOOD BY ANYONE. GOOD INTENTIONS PAVE THE ROAD TO HELL I GUESS! IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME IT”S NOT MY PROBLEM! It was never resolved. A quiet angst burned inside me from that moment.

At that moment to the present day I still feel like some kind of monster because I am not like many.

I was younger and felt full of rage then. I was angry at everything. In Some ways I still am.

A few days later He wanted to go with me to go pick up his Girlfriend from Virginia. Her mother took her out of state. I remember it was a typical humid day. I was drinking my coke smoking a cigar and looking at him like he had 12 eyes. I said no… A day later he begged me. I said ok. I felt bad for him. She kept calling him over and over. I thought if I don’t go he will do something stupid. Someone had to be there for Jen also because I saw disaster without supervision of some sort. I had no money for this cross country trip. I made some kind of insane trail mix out of cereal popcorn and nuts. I gathered a bunch of drinks filled a cooler and we where on our way. My parents had no idea what I was doing. I gathered some clothes and tossed them in a bag. We where off!

We where driving S’s car. The doors would open at 80 miles a hour and it would make odd noises. I found out half way he did not have a valid driver’s license. THIS WAS INSANE! State by state we drove. No sleep at all. We drank coffee and took caffeine pills. I think Mike had enough at one point when we hit Virginia. He was given the wrong directions so he went back to the person and cussed them out! No one would use there lights to change lanes I noted and car accidents where everywhere.

Every time we asked for directions no one knew what they where talking about.

When we found where she was. We had to hurry it was a weird feeling. She left her mother some kind of dramatic letter and we took off in the car. WE PASSED HER MOTHER ON THE FREE WAY! We where going the other direction. That was the worse feeling I ever felt.

We tried to find a hotel and the way home. None took credit cards because we where to young. But I had a legal card and one place charged it anyway.

We got the backside and saw Mac trucks everywhere and road jams. No lights for miles where working.

JEN WAS DRIVING AS MIKE SLEPT! I have a form of blindness so I can’t see to drive.

WHAT ARE THESE STORMS AND NAMES TRYING TO TELL ME IN MY LIFE?

I made her stop at a hotel and paid in cash. I slept on the floor they took the bed.

I had never slept so deeply in my life. The next day I was awake and alive. I took a shower.

Mike was pissed. YOU SPENT TO MUCH FOR THE HOTEL! He wanted to see relatives on the way back.

I was pissed being he was ungrateful to be alive and be with his girlfriend. I been though a lot of crap but at this point I wanted to kill him. They fought all though the state of GA. It calmed down when we got to Alabama. I was happy to see the Paper mill in Fl. I was home. I made it home.

In went to my house and went to sleep. The next day my parents said. Where have you been? I said: About doing what I do.

They would have killed me if they found out where I was for 3 days.

The trailer park was a bad place. They knew they had to leave soon.

Clarence had his bike stolen.

Some teens who lived in this park took it. They painted a blue bike black. I went and confronted the thief who was a punk kid. Trailer parks make lots of punk kids who want to be gangsters but

can't afford the clothes. He wanted to fight so I stared him down and he ran off. I was ready to beat the snot out of him.

I think that was the only thing he understood was something bigger. This did not go over with there mother for some reason. Seems she let her kids steal but did not want to pay a price for it. Also these people where related to the park manager. Some people don't know how to raise kids or have any morals.

S moved out of the trailer back with his parents in the house that waste built. He left his car and mike was still driving it. I could never figure this one out.

Even though they where in process of being evicted THEY TOOK ANOTHER ROOMMATE!! I will never understand the logic.

He was one of there ilk another Role-player. His name was Doug.

Doug Houghton moved in after his roommate was found dead drowned in a ditch after a rain storm. He was fishing in a ditch. The story sounds off to me. We will never know why he was out there. I think Doug had something to do with it being he was a psycho. He was always fighting with his roommate but no one seemed to care and it was never investigated. His was discharged from the army for having a breakdown and worked at a old folk’s home at night. He drove a white station wagon. He said he was interested in magick. I knew a lot about it so he had a interest in me. I never knew he was insane till after I got to know him. His family was dysfunctional and his mother of all things was a Social worker. She made him live in a camper outside there house after she remarried and he got out of the Army.

Mike called me and told he had founded a house to live in but needed cosigner. Asked me if I would. At first I said no. Yet he was my friend and thought I could trust him. His credit was bad after everything you have seen.

We went down to the real estate office. I went in met with the Lady. This place looked professional but it really was not. I only did this because it was to help a friend. We signed to fix up this place and to get cheap rent. It was for a two bedroom duplex.

We drove by the duplex it was a hell hole and Jen said: It has potential! They talked me into it.

I was to go back on Thursday she had a appointment with me. It turned out to be Labor day. I went to a closed office. I WAS PISSED THEY HAD MY DEPOSIT!!! I said go ahead and move in.

We had the keys so we moved in anyhow. Keys to a door without a door knob. I got them with the deposit but I was to sign some other papers.

Part 1 of Wilmont starts here and I will continue 1 to part 7.

Next part: In the duplex of Good and evil.

Dead Boy's Poem Lyrics

Nightwish

Born from silence, silence full of it

A perfect concert my best friend

So much to live for, so much to die for

If only my heart had a home

Sing what you can't say

Forget what you can't play

Hasten to drown into beautiful eyes

Walk within my poetry, this dying music

- My loveletter to nobody

Never sigh for better world

It's already composed, played and told

Every thought the music I write

Everything a wish for the night

Wrote for the eclipse, wrote for the virgin

Died for the beauty the one in the garden

Created a kingdom, reached for the wisdom

Failed in becoming a god

Never sigh...

"If you read this line, remember not the hand that wrote it

Remember only the verse, songmaker's cry the one without tears

For I've given this its strength and it has become my only strength.

Comforting home, mother's lap, chance for immortality

where being wanted became a thrill I never knew

The sweet piano writing down my life"

"Teach me passion for I fear it's gone

Show me love, hold the lorn

So much more I wanted to give to the ones who love me

I'm sorry

Time will tell (this bitter farewell)

I live no more to shame nor me nor you

And you... I wish I didn't feel for you anymore..."

A lonely soul

An ocean soul

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