My mom sent me a Birthday package and I got it today. It is wonderful, she sent me Yorkshire Tea which I LOVE and 2 cd's Katherine Jenkins a Welsh artist and Celine Dion Taking Chances. Also a beautiful necklace and earring set with dropping dark sparkley flowers. I would wear it today but I am dressed down in hoodie for work. She also gave me 2 little trinket boxes both are round and used to be my great Auntie Liz's. Mom was dusting them for 3 years and Uncle Derek was cleaning out her things and since Auntie Liz and my daughter Rhiannon have the same Birthday they sent them to me. Well you know whats going to happen to them?........ They will be Rhiannons later when she is much older. They are so special like a piece of Auntie Liz here with us so she can visit and watch over. I am feeling so sentimental and sad right now...these gifts were so thoughtful. I am a bit depressed right now and feel like I am being punished for my Birthday instead of celebrating. I don't expect anything ever and I don't ask for anything not even help. But sometimes Hubby acts like an ass and thinks he is justified for stupid reasons that don't really exist. He wasn't even here for my Birthday he planned a math con for the whole week....telling me the whole week on the phone we would do something like dinner or a movie this weekend. You what we did? NOTHING.....until I went out and got movies at Blockbuster and bought my own cake. DAMN it I HATE him sometimes. Yes he got me this new computer.....but what I actually needed is some caring and love maybe "you are special" or "Happy Birthday" at least. An expensive present isn't what I expect or want if I have a choice between it and some unconditional love. Yes 2 years ago I didn't get him anything for his birthday until after it like 2 or 3 days. I got him a gift when I could finally think of something while asking him everyday what he wanted. And do you know what he did? Had me return it because he didn't need it. That stabbed me like a knife and he is throwing that birthday of his in my face this weekend as to a good reason to skip mine? As if I have to earn a ???ing Birthday. As if I have to ???ing earn him treating me like he should be anyway. Nobody sees him like this except me. Its not often but its totally unexeptable. He is in a better mood now but why should have I had to go out and get the things needed to make a good day of it? I always get his cake and have the girls make him something and we eat a nice meal or whatever and I am always racking my brain trying to think what to get him. And my birthday was treated like utter shit. I am sure he didn't mean it but how dare he even think of making it that way? If we are going to skip my Birthday lets just agree on it in advance so I know its not coming. I grew up my whole life not having Birthday Parties because my mom could not be bothered. Now we have means of actually at least acknowledging them I would like at least a Happy Birthday out of his mouth and not over the phone at 10:30 at night because he was having a nice time at his Con and couldn't be bothered to call me sooner.
hmmmf. At least Rhiannon was here with me. It was just any other day but it was quiet and not irritating with him here being annoying. I was looking forward to the weekend with him here and we could at least hang out and have a nice time anyway. All we did was get into a fight about his Birthday from 2 years ago and how he was trying to blow off mine this year. I have never blown off his Birthday even when he has been in a bad mood for it and all I wanted to do was throw his cake at him. Birthdays are special to me but now I don't even want to try this year for his. But I will because that is the kind of person I am.
Sorry for letting lose. The situation is over and he is sorry and I am sorry for falling apart. I should feel better soon thanks for listening.
Amanda, sounds like there are some things going on between you two that have little to do w the birthday itself; things you didn't mention earlier, but just now added.
It's one thing if a partner just isn't into celebrating b-days (that's what I was speaking to). But since you've now added that you think he skipped it out of spite (maliciousness), this no longer seems to be about a birthday IMO, rather about character problems and/or his deeper grievances re: your relationship.
Just now you said he's "taking things out" on you. That's a yellow or red flag. So if that is the case, and you're truly being victimized by his awful behavior; if you really think he's a "jerk", you might seriously want to consider a divorce ... or at the least, look into marital counseling.
I think celebrating the Birthday with your mother is a very nice thing
to do. I agree with thanking her. I also think that a close loved one
that would decidedly skip it in your face just out of spite knowing that they are hurting you....is a jerk.
Ok what I was mad about was his angry insensitivity. His attitude of me having to earn a kind word out of him. I don't expect things or expect him to fall all over me. But holy shit. HE could have smiled at least and given me a hug instead he chose to have a bad day at my expense. True about mothers I agree. I am acting childish because I didn't get my way? I don't think so. Practicing common decensy or common courtesy is in order I think. I didn't expect anything other than being treated with respect like someone he is married to. He chose to be in a bad mood and take it out on me. And I chose to let him.
I agree with some of what you have said but some of it I don't sorry.
Let me be blunt. I'm being blunt to try and help you with your angry edge, OK? ...
You have to weigh everything in a relationship. Some people - not all of us being men - don't think much of holidays, including peoples' b-days. Now maybe it seems callous to you, but if people were less touchy and self-centered about the need to get things and attention on one day of the year, they might come to realize that birthdays are more about your mother. All you had to do was get born. That didn't take much energy on your part. Did you send your mother and a 'Thank you' card and deliver flowers on your birthday? Did you buy her a cake for dilating her uterus for you?
You wouldn't be alive and complaining if it weren't for her.
Birthdays -like many holidays - have become a sort of business. anyway. Look at how you behaved when you didn't get your way (reminds me of how I childishly complained about the ugly sweater I got for X-mas). People come to expect things from people, rather than just be gracious that everyone is there for them on a regular basis.
If your hub is thoughtful/ helpful in most other ways, then I think you should give yourself (and him) a break for now on by accepting that he's not into birthdays. And stop giving him things in expectation that he'll return the obligation. ... And if he isn't generally thoughtful/ helpful, then you have a way bigger problem than a lacking b-day cake and card.
Sorry to hear that things did not go well on your Birth Day. I know I am late but Happy Birthday. When can I come and have some tea.P.S. I will bring bisquites.
Hugs!! sorry you are feeling blue. hope things get better and your spirits lift. I know what you mean - words and time are worth so much more then any purchase that can be made. I'm glad you vented and got it out- and I hope you fell a whole lot better now!! take care!
I am thinking of starting a free banner exchange for anyone with a paranormal website. If you think this is a good idea then let me know. If there is enough interest I'd start it up.
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P.S. I will bring bisquites.
